baby registry: Birthday registries turn parties into a buying game

Vancouver Sun
Published: Tuesday, July 25, 2006

We've had more than 80 years to get used to the concept of a bridal registry since an American department store introduced it in 1924. It makes sense for a couple putting together a household for the first time to offer gift-giving wedding guests some guidance. Guests are relieved of the pressure of choosing the "right" gift so their fruit plates or serving platters won't be duplicated, returned or "regifted."

The same may hold true for the later innovation of a baby registry. Responding to clear direction on exactly what crib set or high chair is preferred satisfies both giver and recipient.

But the latest development in gift-giving seems to take pragmatism a step too far. We're talking here about the birthday party registry. Several children's stores now provide a service that ensures the birthday boys or girls get what they want.

At Scholar's Choice, a London, Ontario-based toy store with 24 outlets across the country (but not in British Columbia), celebrants visit the store before the invitations go out, and -- while wearing a crown for some reason -- sweep through the store filling a "birthday bucket" with things they want. These are then itemized and added to the registry. Guests are notified of the registry on the party invitation and can pick a gift pre-selected by the recipient.

No more embarrassment for children or parents over duplicate or unwanted gifts. No more stress trying to choose a present for children you don't know. No more time wasted shopping for toys. Call ahead, order from the list and pick it up gift-wrapped and good to go.

It's sensible, it's practical and it's efficient -- but it just doesn't feel right. As one mother put it: "It rubbed me the wrong way, and I'm not really sure why."

Perhaps what troubles us about this is that it sends the message that having a birthday party is mainly about getting gifts when what we hope to convey is that it's about marking milestones with friends and family. Having fun is supposed to be the reason for having a party. The gift should be incidental, a token of appreciation, as when dinner guests take flowers or a bottle of wine for their hosts.

Unlike wedding or baby gift registries, the birthday registry turns the party into a commercial enterprise. A gift from the list becomes the price of admission.

As a marketing tool, the birthday party registry is a stroke of genius. In filling a need that didn't exist until now, the crafty shopkeeper scoops up all the business a party generates. And with a Thomas the Tank Engine expansion set retailing at $50, it puts plenty of tinkle in the till.

A child with 20 classmates will be invited to many parties over the course of a year, which -- for parents -- translates into a significant commitment in time and money.

The trade-off for the convenience of the birthday party registry is our discomfort with consumerism as a credo. Can kids have fun without consumption?

The birthday party registry risks a major escalation in the cost of hosting a party. If parents are obliged to buy designated gifts, they may well expect that their children attending the event will receive value for money in the quality of food, entertainment and loot bags.

The event planning industry must be watching the evolution of children's birthdays with anticipation.

© The Vancouver Sun 2006